'Tis the day before New Years Eve. All humans are reflecting about the past year, 2011.
I never got used to writing that date. Caught myself writing a check dated for 19XX before I realized I was lost in the last century. It felt very natural to write that 19 and I didn't know I was in trouble until I tried to remember the last two digits for the current year. Then my error hit me. 2012 just flows better.
The weather events for 2011 played havoc throughout the world. Tsunami's, earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, famines, record rainfalls, record droughts. I kept waiting for the locusts and other signs of doom to arrive, but alas, humans are remarkably adaptable so life continued, even in the face of tragedy and loss.
The economy still affects everything we do here in our house. I had a job in my profession at the beginning of the year but at the end of the year, I am jobless so I am following the path my hobby with beach glass is taking me. My husband is examining figures and contemplating if he can retire in 2012. He's one of the few in his peer group who is still working. I worry that he'll work one day, one week, one month, one year too long and we will regret it. Life can flip in one doctor's appointment if you get bad news. We want to be capable of doing things we've put off. We have no idea what those things are, but I'm sure we'll come up with some ideas while dozing on the beach after he retires.
Our granddaughters will grow exponentially in 2012. I wish we lived closer to both of them so we could be active participants in their childhood, enjoying the small things they are learning to do. But perhaps our goal could be just to visit them more often, more spontaneously. I am envious that both sets of our own parents lived in the same city, sometimes on the same street, as we did as our children were growing up. I didn't realize how convenient that was for all of us until we realized we live too many miles away to just zip over to visit our own children.
Every year, folks resolve to lose weight, get fit, take care of themselves. But this year, it has to happen or dire consequences could descend upon us. We are not young anymore and getting in shape doesn't just happen like it once did while running after small children, picking them up when they weighed more than I thought I could ever bench press. I know that in order to assure success, one should state out loud the weight loss or exercise goals. Sorry, Folks, I'm not doing that. My lips are sealed, as they should be when I pass by any goodies brought into this house. New rule: Nothing that isn't good for me should enter this house. Let's see how long that commitment lasts! But seriously, I know the risks now that I have entered another decade in age. I do not want bad news at any doctor's appointment!
2012 will be the year to get our physical, mental and spiritual "houses" in order first. For with inside order comes outside order. I love the sense of peace that settles when chaos becomes orderly, when indecision is exchanged for research and confidence. That is my priority for this new year. I resolve to make decisions that are good for me, for us, for my family. I've always preached that the most important thing in life is making good decisions. Now is my chance to live that.
Happy 2012 to All!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Christmas Past
Christmas seemed to be much more festive and elaborate when I was younger. There were trips to Pennsylvania to visit my grandparents and visits to my aunt, uncle and cousins in my hometown. You went to church on the Sunday before Christmas and received a fancy little box of candy, which had a string handle. It was all hard candy that I didn't like, but the box was delightful! And I always received a Lifesavers "book" filled with rolls of those round little gems of candy from my father's brother. I never really liked that candy either, but the little "book" was intriguing. That uncle had a silver tree that had a rotating colored light under it that made the tree change colors. That seemed so exotic!
When I was young, there were certain rituals that had to be followed when decorating for Christmas.. Things went in certain locations. The tree always stood in the corner by the two windows, beside the fake fireplace. There were ornaments I made in Girl Scouts and the paper chain I cut and colored for the tree that lasted for many years. Then there was the angel, which I just sold on eBay because she was spun glass, which fell out a lot. I decided to sell it or my children would throw it away when I died. The tinsel on the tree had to be put on strand by strand and never thrown on. Don't you dare throw that strand up to the top of the tree! As a Brownie, we would go caroling with our troop at night after it snowed. To this day, I remember how sparkly everything was outside, how magical it felt! I miss my Brownie troop leader and her daughter so much at this time of year and those were the only times I ever went out caroling. Perhaps next year, with electronic networking, I should try to organize a Caroling Mob.
There were the trips to visit the Talking ChristmasTree in the now-defunct outside shopping area and we always visited the Santa in the little hut in our town square. It seemed that it was always snowing and cold back then. My parents took my brother and I all the way into Cleveland one year to look at a fancy Christmas tree in some fancy store, perhaps Sterling Linder or Macy's. It took us all day to get there because there were no highways at that time. I took one look at the tree and asked, "Is that all there is?" I believe I may have been smacked by my mother for that particular remark.
While in Cleveland, we'd visit Mr. Jingaling in Halle's and get some paper keys. Someone posted a picture of him on my hometown's facebook page. He doesn't look nearly as festive now as I remember him. He's now just a memory, along with Captain Penny, Mr. Greenjeans, and Captain Kangaroo. I still remember at least some of the words of the song they always sang on tv about him,
"Mr. Jingaling, how you dingaling, keeper of the keys. On Halle's seventh floor, we'll be looking for you to turn the keys."
Christmas began to lose its magic in my teenage years. I don't remember much about Christmas at all during that time. Perhaps because my life revolved more around my friends and boyfriends than my family. I remember attending church, singing Christmas songs and cantatas in the choir. I loved when the church lights were dimmed and candles were lit. I was in the A Capella choir in my high school so we began practicing songs for the holiday in September. I can still sing my soprano parts to those particular songs and I miss participating in a choir at this time of year. Hallelujah Chorus!
When I had my girls, Christmas became very stressful. I tried to make the holiday perfect for them and the rest of my family. By then, I had become the "keeper of the holidays" so the pressure was on to search for the perfect presents and cook the traditional dishes of our family. We had to have the same dishes every year. I tried to substitute new ones, just to pester everyone, but those holiday menus are sacred!
Things went downhill as my girls grew up and moved on with their own families and traditions. My mother is gone now. I used to sit by her because she'd make comments and remarks that would spice up the day. She'd say,"Hot Damn!" when she was excited about something and at the end of the day, she'd exclaim, "Well, the big day's shot in the ass!" On one of her last Christmases, I found some Hot Damn cinnamon schnapp's for her but she was too sick to enjoy it. We offered a shot of that drink to friends at the funeral home when she died. We toasted and said, " Hot Dam" and told her that her big day was "shot in the ass." Not very prim and proper, but neither was my mother. At this time of year, I miss her humor and enthusiasm for the holiday music and lights and her zest for life.
Now, I truly am the "sandwich" generation. I am torn between being with my daughters and their families on holidays, yet I feel obligated to entertain our folks for what might be their last Christmas, although I have been saying that for the past ten years. I want no guilt when they are gone. No regrets. So I was thrilled when my oldest daughter made a surprise visit to us on Christmas this year. This was our off-year. They were supposed to be visiting their husband's families so it was going to be a long, uneventful day here. But my granddaughter's joy of the holiday brought smiles and noise back into this house. It made the day very special for the folks. I am grateful to my daughter for sharing their day with us.
So, Christmas is gone for another year. No regrets. New memories. A new year is beginning!
When I was young, there were certain rituals that had to be followed when decorating for Christmas.. Things went in certain locations. The tree always stood in the corner by the two windows, beside the fake fireplace. There were ornaments I made in Girl Scouts and the paper chain I cut and colored for the tree that lasted for many years. Then there was the angel, which I just sold on eBay because she was spun glass, which fell out a lot. I decided to sell it or my children would throw it away when I died. The tinsel on the tree had to be put on strand by strand and never thrown on. Don't you dare throw that strand up to the top of the tree! As a Brownie, we would go caroling with our troop at night after it snowed. To this day, I remember how sparkly everything was outside, how magical it felt! I miss my Brownie troop leader and her daughter so much at this time of year and those were the only times I ever went out caroling. Perhaps next year, with electronic networking, I should try to organize a Caroling Mob.
There were the trips to visit the Talking ChristmasTree in the now-defunct outside shopping area and we always visited the Santa in the little hut in our town square. It seemed that it was always snowing and cold back then. My parents took my brother and I all the way into Cleveland one year to look at a fancy Christmas tree in some fancy store, perhaps Sterling Linder or Macy's. It took us all day to get there because there were no highways at that time. I took one look at the tree and asked, "Is that all there is?" I believe I may have been smacked by my mother for that particular remark.
While in Cleveland, we'd visit Mr. Jingaling in Halle's and get some paper keys. Someone posted a picture of him on my hometown's facebook page. He doesn't look nearly as festive now as I remember him. He's now just a memory, along with Captain Penny, Mr. Greenjeans, and Captain Kangaroo. I still remember at least some of the words of the song they always sang on tv about him,
"Mr. Jingaling, how you dingaling, keeper of the keys. On Halle's seventh floor, we'll be looking for you to turn the keys."
Christmas began to lose its magic in my teenage years. I don't remember much about Christmas at all during that time. Perhaps because my life revolved more around my friends and boyfriends than my family. I remember attending church, singing Christmas songs and cantatas in the choir. I loved when the church lights were dimmed and candles were lit. I was in the A Capella choir in my high school so we began practicing songs for the holiday in September. I can still sing my soprano parts to those particular songs and I miss participating in a choir at this time of year. Hallelujah Chorus!
When I had my girls, Christmas became very stressful. I tried to make the holiday perfect for them and the rest of my family. By then, I had become the "keeper of the holidays" so the pressure was on to search for the perfect presents and cook the traditional dishes of our family. We had to have the same dishes every year. I tried to substitute new ones, just to pester everyone, but those holiday menus are sacred!
Things went downhill as my girls grew up and moved on with their own families and traditions. My mother is gone now. I used to sit by her because she'd make comments and remarks that would spice up the day. She'd say,"Hot Damn!" when she was excited about something and at the end of the day, she'd exclaim, "Well, the big day's shot in the ass!" On one of her last Christmases, I found some Hot Damn cinnamon schnapp's for her but she was too sick to enjoy it. We offered a shot of that drink to friends at the funeral home when she died. We toasted and said, " Hot Dam" and told her that her big day was "shot in the ass." Not very prim and proper, but neither was my mother. At this time of year, I miss her humor and enthusiasm for the holiday music and lights and her zest for life.
Now, I truly am the "sandwich" generation. I am torn between being with my daughters and their families on holidays, yet I feel obligated to entertain our folks for what might be their last Christmas, although I have been saying that for the past ten years. I want no guilt when they are gone. No regrets. So I was thrilled when my oldest daughter made a surprise visit to us on Christmas this year. This was our off-year. They were supposed to be visiting their husband's families so it was going to be a long, uneventful day here. But my granddaughter's joy of the holiday brought smiles and noise back into this house. It made the day very special for the folks. I am grateful to my daughter for sharing their day with us.
So, Christmas is gone for another year. No regrets. New memories. A new year is beginning!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Something is on the Horizon
Something is on the horizon of our lives. I do not know what it is yet, but it seems like things are lining up for a significant change to take place. Ah, but perhaps I am just hoping this is going to occur. Perhaps it is all in my imagination. But I cannot doubt the events of the past. When things aligned like this, something significant occurred. In the past, I have seen doors close so tightly that there was only one path to follow and at the end of that path, a door opened to an opportunity. While I walked down that dark path, I did not understand the reason for all those closed doors, but when the opportunity was presented, the reason was revealed. This seems to be what is taking place in our lives right now. Closed doors. A dark scary path towards the unknown. I've watched this happen so often in our lives that I have no doubt a door will open when all the circumstances are aligned.
It could be new jobs. That would be wonderful! Gloomy Gus (aka husband) walks out the door every morning, sounding every bit like Eeyore. "See you some time tonight. Another day at the ol' Baily Savings and Loan." Can you hear him saying that? Even his body language reminds me of poor ol' Eeyore. All slumped over. No spring to his step. I remind him to think of something positive about the job as he walks out the door. I don't know if that works or not. Probably not.
I've applied for several jobs out of my comfort zone. One is for a Department of Defense Education Leadership job in Germany. Wouldn't that be exciting? But by the time the government gets around to interviews, I will be another decade older. I've applied to other school improvement or leadership jobs, but have heard nothing yet. Meanwhile, I am conducting reviews of Prekindergarten programs and national reviews of teacher education programs in universities in the US. These reviews are few and very far between.
Perhaps the "something coming" could be new options for the care of our parents. My husband's parents will run out of money in 1.5 years at their current facility. We have been considering moving them into a seniors' apartment here in Bay, then Bob would quit his current job and care for them. They could pay him a fraction of what they are paying now. He would be their chef and their driver when they have appointments. But in order to do this, we have to sell our condo in Florida. He cannot retire while we have this extra mortgage. Anyone want a condo on the waterway where manatee and dolphins love to play?
Life is not playing out as we imagined it so we have to design Plan B for our "golden years." I do not like having to design a new plan after working towards Plan A our entire adult lives. We now see the errors of job choices for Bob, and we regret buying the FL condo. But hindsight is always 20/20. Every generation has had historical events that influenced its path. Every generation has had its challenges. Seems like our parents' generation had it best after all! This comes as quite a shock to us Boomers! We thought we had life by the tail, but it turned out that the tail had teeth that ate our retirement plans! Being a problem solver, I am seeking alternate solutions. So no matter what, this is our life. We will reexamine our Bucket List, prioritize it, and work with the circumstances of the moment. It does not take a lot of money to be happy or to have fun. It only takes family, friends, creativity, a sense of place and peace, and a very tight budget!
It could be new jobs. That would be wonderful! Gloomy Gus (aka husband) walks out the door every morning, sounding every bit like Eeyore. "See you some time tonight. Another day at the ol' Baily Savings and Loan." Can you hear him saying that? Even his body language reminds me of poor ol' Eeyore. All slumped over. No spring to his step. I remind him to think of something positive about the job as he walks out the door. I don't know if that works or not. Probably not.
I've applied for several jobs out of my comfort zone. One is for a Department of Defense Education Leadership job in Germany. Wouldn't that be exciting? But by the time the government gets around to interviews, I will be another decade older. I've applied to other school improvement or leadership jobs, but have heard nothing yet. Meanwhile, I am conducting reviews of Prekindergarten programs and national reviews of teacher education programs in universities in the US. These reviews are few and very far between.
Perhaps the "something coming" could be new options for the care of our parents. My husband's parents will run out of money in 1.5 years at their current facility. We have been considering moving them into a seniors' apartment here in Bay, then Bob would quit his current job and care for them. They could pay him a fraction of what they are paying now. He would be their chef and their driver when they have appointments. But in order to do this, we have to sell our condo in Florida. He cannot retire while we have this extra mortgage. Anyone want a condo on the waterway where manatee and dolphins love to play?
Life is not playing out as we imagined it so we have to design Plan B for our "golden years." I do not like having to design a new plan after working towards Plan A our entire adult lives. We now see the errors of job choices for Bob, and we regret buying the FL condo. But hindsight is always 20/20. Every generation has had historical events that influenced its path. Every generation has had its challenges. Seems like our parents' generation had it best after all! This comes as quite a shock to us Boomers! We thought we had life by the tail, but it turned out that the tail had teeth that ate our retirement plans! Being a problem solver, I am seeking alternate solutions. So no matter what, this is our life. We will reexamine our Bucket List, prioritize it, and work with the circumstances of the moment. It does not take a lot of money to be happy or to have fun. It only takes family, friends, creativity, a sense of place and peace, and a very tight budget!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Little Gems in Life
Real life gets in the way of living, being happy, enjoying the journey, staying in the moment. We get overwhelmed with current events in our lives, which at times seem to drag us down. But if we are watchful, we stumble upon little gems in our lives that, at that moment, surprise us and make us very happy.
While in Washington, DC for a meeting on July 3 one year, I realized that fighting the crowds to hear the concert on the lawn at the Capitol Building was just too much to deal with, and I was very disappointed to miss this big event. So I headed to the national mall just to walk around, enjoy the buildings,and see the sights and preparations for 4th of July the next night. As I walked up towards the Capitol, I heard wonderful music! I had stumbled upon one of those gems in life! The orchestra was practicing for their concert so I was able to sit down and enjoy this impromptu performance!
Two weeks ago, I was invited to a Fall Tea at a local Catholic church, which would be held in their old gym/school lunchroom. I thought I would just go to be with my dear friends. Behold! When I walked into that gymnasium, I was filled with awe! There were haystacks decorated with lights, pumpkins, fall characters, and garlands! Each table was dressed up by its sponsor in their finest place settings, silverware, glassware, and each had its own sparkling, colorful table decoration for fall! Along the walls were straw bales, scarecrows, lights, and pumpkins which were going to be raffled off to some lucky (not me) winners for the outside of their homes, to greet their holiday visitors! I was absolutely stunned by all this sparkle, color, and energy put forth into these gorgeous decorations. Another gem in life!
We recently had a barn stone porch created on the west side of our house, which has a small view of Lake Erie. One of our joys is to sit out there in the evening, even now in the fall season, with a glass of wine, watching the deer come out of the woods to play in the field across the street, sometimes wandering right past us as we sit very still. Gem!
Kayaking at the Mendenhall Glacier on our 40th anniversary trip to Alaska. Getting a free watercolor set, including brushes, on this cruise and then challenging ourselves to try something entirely foreign to us...painting! Having an orca mother and baby breach right by our boat on a whale watch. Having our balcony door open all night, listening to the waves and having the motion of the boat rock us to sleep. Gem!
After having green trees all summer, now having them burst into a multitude of shades of fall colors, giving us this palette of reds, oranges, yellows before we go into winter hibernation. I want to gather all those colorful leaves and hold them tight until spring comes again. Now I understand the lure of pressing leaves in books, to save those colorful gems!
Be open to experiencing these little gems in your life. Be aware that they could be anywhere, appear at any time. Embrace the opportunity to say to yourself, "At this very moment, in this time and space, I am happy."
While in Washington, DC for a meeting on July 3 one year, I realized that fighting the crowds to hear the concert on the lawn at the Capitol Building was just too much to deal with, and I was very disappointed to miss this big event. So I headed to the national mall just to walk around, enjoy the buildings,and see the sights and preparations for 4th of July the next night. As I walked up towards the Capitol, I heard wonderful music! I had stumbled upon one of those gems in life! The orchestra was practicing for their concert so I was able to sit down and enjoy this impromptu performance!
Two weeks ago, I was invited to a Fall Tea at a local Catholic church, which would be held in their old gym/school lunchroom. I thought I would just go to be with my dear friends. Behold! When I walked into that gymnasium, I was filled with awe! There were haystacks decorated with lights, pumpkins, fall characters, and garlands! Each table was dressed up by its sponsor in their finest place settings, silverware, glassware, and each had its own sparkling, colorful table decoration for fall! Along the walls were straw bales, scarecrows, lights, and pumpkins which were going to be raffled off to some lucky (not me) winners for the outside of their homes, to greet their holiday visitors! I was absolutely stunned by all this sparkle, color, and energy put forth into these gorgeous decorations. Another gem in life!
We recently had a barn stone porch created on the west side of our house, which has a small view of Lake Erie. One of our joys is to sit out there in the evening, even now in the fall season, with a glass of wine, watching the deer come out of the woods to play in the field across the street, sometimes wandering right past us as we sit very still. Gem!
Kayaking at the Mendenhall Glacier on our 40th anniversary trip to Alaska. Getting a free watercolor set, including brushes, on this cruise and then challenging ourselves to try something entirely foreign to us...painting! Having an orca mother and baby breach right by our boat on a whale watch. Having our balcony door open all night, listening to the waves and having the motion of the boat rock us to sleep. Gem!
After having green trees all summer, now having them burst into a multitude of shades of fall colors, giving us this palette of reds, oranges, yellows before we go into winter hibernation. I want to gather all those colorful leaves and hold them tight until spring comes again. Now I understand the lure of pressing leaves in books, to save those colorful gems!
Be open to experiencing these little gems in your life. Be aware that they could be anywhere, appear at any time. Embrace the opportunity to say to yourself, "At this very moment, in this time and space, I am happy."
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Reliving Life Backwards
Both my grandchildren are ill. Not just ill. Very ill. With very odd things. In this world of antibacterial soaps, lotions, Purell, Lysol, etc, how can germs still exist and cause such trouble?
First, Granddaughter #1, who is 4.5 years old, somehow, somewhere, caught a terrible horrible staph infection that you only hear about on TV. She has spent three days in the hospital, mainlining powerful antibiotics. Will the germs finally give up and die? Or have they become so resistant to these drugs that they will continue to cause havoc on this little girl's body? I will not allow that to happen! Be gone, Germs! Grandmother has spoken!
Granddaughter #2, just two months old, has developed, or pehaps has always had, what seems to be an allergy to cow protein her mother is ingesting. In other words, she cannot seem to digest the protein from cow's milk products that her mother is eating. The doctor told my daughter that her baby is "allergic" to her breastmilk. Really? How often does that happen? Rarely! Let's get the wording correct instead of scaring my daughter or making her feel incompetent or guilty.
Shame on that doctor, in this day and age of "advanced medicine!" So, to correct this medical issue and to get this little baby's digestion system and bowels working properly, my daughter has to give up any product with cow's milk if she wants to nurse her baby again, and it takes about two weeks for this protein to be eliminated from her body. And trying to eliminate any further ingestion of cow's milk protein is similar to trying to figure out where wheat is hiding if you have celiac's disease. Hmmm. Milk is hiding in chocolate, pudding, scrambled eggs (if you add milk to the eggs), cheese, ice cream, yogurt, sour cream, instant potatoes, soups, some salad dressings, etc. Meanwhile, her baby has to stop nursing and try other milk products. My daughter was sobbing. This is a vital link between mother and child.
To my daughters, I give you strength to deal with the stress and scariness of having children who are very sick. You are both strong, independent females and can deal with these issues. You have husbands who support you, who are kind, gentle, supportive men who will help you through this.
It is like living life backwards. Life does repeat itself, when your own children deal with the same issues you remember worrying about when they were babies and young children. I thought I was through worrying about children when my own girls grew into adults and got married. But now I have a new set of worries to add to worrying about my own girls. Now I also worry about their girls, their daughters. I can offer support and some advice. I can offer my continuing love. I can offer a shoulder to cry on when they need it. I can offer resources for information and research. I can share my stories from when they were little and I felt the same worry and fears. I can tell them how I slept on the floor by their cribs and beds, sometimes at the hospital with the youngest daughter. I can tell them how the rest of the world would disappear and there was only my child and me. I wish I could make it all better. I wish I could protect my daughter's from worry, pain, fear, stress, unhappiness, sadness. I cannot do that.
Life moves forward.
First, Granddaughter #1, who is 4.5 years old, somehow, somewhere, caught a terrible horrible staph infection that you only hear about on TV. She has spent three days in the hospital, mainlining powerful antibiotics. Will the germs finally give up and die? Or have they become so resistant to these drugs that they will continue to cause havoc on this little girl's body? I will not allow that to happen! Be gone, Germs! Grandmother has spoken!
Granddaughter #2, just two months old, has developed, or pehaps has always had, what seems to be an allergy to cow protein her mother is ingesting. In other words, she cannot seem to digest the protein from cow's milk products that her mother is eating. The doctor told my daughter that her baby is "allergic" to her breastmilk. Really? How often does that happen? Rarely! Let's get the wording correct instead of scaring my daughter or making her feel incompetent or guilty.
Shame on that doctor, in this day and age of "advanced medicine!" So, to correct this medical issue and to get this little baby's digestion system and bowels working properly, my daughter has to give up any product with cow's milk if she wants to nurse her baby again, and it takes about two weeks for this protein to be eliminated from her body. And trying to eliminate any further ingestion of cow's milk protein is similar to trying to figure out where wheat is hiding if you have celiac's disease. Hmmm. Milk is hiding in chocolate, pudding, scrambled eggs (if you add milk to the eggs), cheese, ice cream, yogurt, sour cream, instant potatoes, soups, some salad dressings, etc. Meanwhile, her baby has to stop nursing and try other milk products. My daughter was sobbing. This is a vital link between mother and child.
To my daughters, I give you strength to deal with the stress and scariness of having children who are very sick. You are both strong, independent females and can deal with these issues. You have husbands who support you, who are kind, gentle, supportive men who will help you through this.
It is like living life backwards. Life does repeat itself, when your own children deal with the same issues you remember worrying about when they were babies and young children. I thought I was through worrying about children when my own girls grew into adults and got married. But now I have a new set of worries to add to worrying about my own girls. Now I also worry about their girls, their daughters. I can offer support and some advice. I can offer my continuing love. I can offer a shoulder to cry on when they need it. I can offer resources for information and research. I can share my stories from when they were little and I felt the same worry and fears. I can tell them how I slept on the floor by their cribs and beds, sometimes at the hospital with the youngest daughter. I can tell them how the rest of the world would disappear and there was only my child and me. I wish I could make it all better. I wish I could protect my daughter's from worry, pain, fear, stress, unhappiness, sadness. I cannot do that.
Life moves forward.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Lonely, I'm Ms. Lonely
I deleted my previous blogs although I believe two are still housed on my facebook page. I am a firm believer of journaling to take away sadness, grief, pain, so I'm going to try it for lonliness. It seems like too much effort to actually use a pencil and my clothbound journal anymore.
Here I am, living in beautiful Bay Village, across the street from Lake Erie, and I'm lonely for all my friends in past parts of my life. If something would happen to Bob, I don't think I can live here by myself. There is not one friend here that I can walk, talk, or visit with here in Bay. All my connections are in Elyria, Ohio. That's where I grew up, went to school, started and ended my career, raised my children, and made our home. Heck, we even have cemetery plots in the cemetery on Cleveland Street where the Elyria High School Marching Band will come to play every Memorial Day! As a former member of the Elyria High School Pioneer Marching band, and the 1969 EHS Band Marcher of the Year, I am actually thrilled about that!
Perhaps we are past the age when you make good, new friends in life? If you think about the folks you consider your friends, when did you begin that friendship? We have friends from our early school day, church, jobs, former neighbors. Many of our friends are former colleagues of ours. Some we met while working with them before we had children. Some we became friends with as we struggled with parenthood and the "how to" parts of our lives. Then there are others who entered our lives as our children became friends with their children. In our case, it was marching band, choir, and 4H. Ah, yes! Nothing bonds you quicker than spending a week camping out at the fair in a huge muddy field on either hot or freezing nights by the bonfire, trying to cook an entire meal in the rain as our children danced happily in the mud around the campfire! Those were happy days, even though we didn't realize it yet!
I miss those parts of our life. I miss having those connections with people who knew me in a different time and place. Perhaps that's why facebook means so much to many of us? Once we've made the initial connection with our old friends, there comes a sense of peace. We no longer wonder what ever became of them. We now have them as our "friends" and can keep track of their lives, like we once used to do. In another time and place of our lives.
Here I am, living in beautiful Bay Village, across the street from Lake Erie, and I'm lonely for all my friends in past parts of my life. If something would happen to Bob, I don't think I can live here by myself. There is not one friend here that I can walk, talk, or visit with here in Bay. All my connections are in Elyria, Ohio. That's where I grew up, went to school, started and ended my career, raised my children, and made our home. Heck, we even have cemetery plots in the cemetery on Cleveland Street where the Elyria High School Marching Band will come to play every Memorial Day! As a former member of the Elyria High School Pioneer Marching band, and the 1969 EHS Band Marcher of the Year, I am actually thrilled about that!
Perhaps we are past the age when you make good, new friends in life? If you think about the folks you consider your friends, when did you begin that friendship? We have friends from our early school day, church, jobs, former neighbors. Many of our friends are former colleagues of ours. Some we met while working with them before we had children. Some we became friends with as we struggled with parenthood and the "how to" parts of our lives. Then there are others who entered our lives as our children became friends with their children. In our case, it was marching band, choir, and 4H. Ah, yes! Nothing bonds you quicker than spending a week camping out at the fair in a huge muddy field on either hot or freezing nights by the bonfire, trying to cook an entire meal in the rain as our children danced happily in the mud around the campfire! Those were happy days, even though we didn't realize it yet!
I miss those parts of our life. I miss having those connections with people who knew me in a different time and place. Perhaps that's why facebook means so much to many of us? Once we've made the initial connection with our old friends, there comes a sense of peace. We no longer wonder what ever became of them. We now have them as our "friends" and can keep track of their lives, like we once used to do. In another time and place of our lives.
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